Incirlik couples say 'I do' for the second time

  • Published
  • By Senior Airman Michael Battles
  • 39th Air Base Wing Public Affairs
INCIRLIK AIR BASE, Turkey --  In today's Air Force, spiritual fitness is a core competency of the Comprehensive Airman lifestyle that every service member must incorporate into their daily lives to help adapt themselves to the stressors of an ever-changing force.

To enable married couples stationed at Incirlik Air Base to build spiritual resiliency, the 39th Air Base Wing Chapel hosted a Marriage Care Retreat at a beach getaway June 26-28, 2015.

Selected based on their needs, on a scale of one to 10, with one being ready to divorce and 10 being completely and happily satisfied, 17 couples joined Capt. (Ch.) Brent Mulder, 39th Air Base Wing Protestant chaplain and Staff Sgt. Thomas Myers, 39th ABW Chapel NCO in charge of resource management, on the three-day event.

On average, the couples selected to attend the retreat rated themselves at a 5.57 percent. 

"[The retreat] was a time for couples to get away from everything and to focus on themselves," Mulder said. "This doesn't happen often so having the dedicated time for each other goes a long way."

As part of the retreat, the chapel staff hosted a series of group activities, lessons and videos aimed at teaching the couples how to communicate and express their feelings towards one another. Additionally, utilizing the book "The Five Languages of Love," the couples were taught that different personalities rarely have the same love language as defined in the book.

Myers stated that the retreat was about couples strengthening the bounds of their marriage.

"It is important for couples to work on their marriage even before things start to blow up," Myers said. "More times than none we see couples say, 'it started off small.' This training is not just for people that are on the break of divorce, it can easily be used as a tune-up. Whether it's a chapel retreat or other source from a helping agency, it never hurts to have a checkup. "

At the end of the three-day event, participants were given the chance to renew their wedding vows at a beachside wedding. To make the vows more personal, couples developed their own vows based on what they learned during the series of weekend events.

According to Myers, one husband that attended the retreat stated ""When I first said my vows, I promised my wife the world.  I know now that I can't give her the world. That was just a childish attempt to simplify my feels. After going through this course what I can promise my wife is that I can take her hand and through communication we can work together to handle all of life's problems."

At the end of the beachside wedding couples were asked to rate their marriage once again based on what they had learned from the retreat. The average response after the three-day program increased from 5.57 percent to 8.83 percent.

For more information about marriage counseling or future retreats, contact the 39th ABW Chapel at 676-6441.